We Will Find Our Way Back
by letsbefwb
Summary: A sequel to Of What Could Have Been
1. If Trying Could Be Enough

_**Author's Notes:** _Hey guys, sorry it has been a long time since i last posted a story but here is a sequel to Of What Could Have Been. REALLY a big gigantic thanks to all the comments and the reviews for my previous stories, I am really really thankful for each and every single comment & so sorry that I could not reply personally to each and everyone of you. As for the continuations of the stories that some of you have been asking for, there might or might not be continuations! really depends on what I could come up with :) well without further ado, this will be my first multi-chapter fic & i hope you guys will enjoy reading it! & of course! comments and feedback are very very VERY! much appreciated! do let me know what you think. Till next time! Oh yes & before i forget, I welcome any suggestions so you could send me a PM on tumblr takeaholiday . tumblr .com or send me a tweet about anything! at letsbefwb

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She let out a frustrated groan as she ruffled through the remainder of her clothes left in her mess of a closet, to try and find the least rumpled piece of clothing. Mornings were never a favourite part of her day, well it used to be.. but being up early had lost it's charm a long time ago and she had lost track of how long that has been. Now she just loathes the idea of being up early when the sun wasn't high up in the sky. Today was no different as she went about prepping herself to get ready for the short flight to New York. Kenzi was already at the Big Apple, two days ahead of her, probably enjoying the amenities that the hotel they were staying at, afforded her.

Bo still had trouble wrapping her head around the explanation that Kenzi had given her when she had came home one day with a gigantic grin on her face and started blabbering about how they have gotten famous, that they had just scored their "Big Gig" and this myseterious client of theirs now, stays in the Big Apple and is willing to pay a substantial amount for their services and on top of that for the expenses incurred. Ending her excited blabber with a loud smack on her butt, Kenzi had waltz back up to her room, to start packing, even before Bo could utter a word of protest.

Taking on any kind of case, especially for a client who was willing to pay, always meant that things weren't as simple as it seems. There would always be lies told by the people involved, which would inadvertently end up putting Kenzi and her in danger and sometimes even innocent casualties who happened to be at the wrong place, at the wrong time. What was the worst feeling though, was the fact that at the end of the day, realizing that the person who hired them, might not have been that "clean and clear" in their intentions after all. So yeah, taking a case definitely wasn't a walk in the park. As Bo continued her regime of getting ready and making sure she had packed the neccessities required for the trip, the pretty brunette couldn't help feeling a slight tinge of guilt for the fact that trouble always seem to follow her wherever she went, and the people that she cared for, more than herself, always end up getting hurt or taken away from her.. and that she.. couldn't protect them..

And maybe.. that's why her love had left..

Maybe that's why Lauren couldn't and wouldn't stay. It had been too hard on the doctor, always having to put herself in harm's way. It had all been her fault. She was the one who had chased the love of her life away because she was careless and reckless, because no matter how hard she tried, she wasn't enough. She could never be enough. Not for Lauren Lewis, not for anyone else. Not that she wanted anyone else but it reminded Bo, just how undeserving and naïve she had been, to want and to wish to have someone whom she could love with all her heart and who loves her back just as much, by her side..

Snapping out of her reverie, Bo headed to the kitchen; she could feel the onset of one of her "pity attacks" as her bestfriend calls it and she really needed a drink to calm her nerves right now. Looking at the shelves and carefully labelled bottles on the center island, Bo thought of the time when she and the petite girl had found the crack shack and decided to call it home, everything was always in a mess, no matter how hard they tried to keep the place tidy; or maybe they hadn't tried so hard afterall. Well, the both of them were never really good at keeping things in order. Yet when Lauren had stayed with them, without saying or nagging as much, the blonde had organized everything; practically catalogued and labelled whatever she could lay her hands on. Kenzi did throw a fit when the dark haired girl had realized that everything was finally just too neat and that included her room. Bo couldn't help letting out a short burst of laughter as she thought of her bestfriend's bitch fit moments. Eventually the orderliness had stuck and it became an unspoken habit to keep the crack shack tidy and well, to be responsible for their own belongings. Even up till now, the habit had persisted. It's really amazing how time changes a person's habits, or maybe it wasn't time that change habits or things, it was just the company kept with time that changes the way you do things.. or changes you..

As Bo gave the kitchen and the living room another once over, the realisation that she still miss Lauren, hit her with a sense of longing. It wasn't that this was the first occurrence or that this particular realization didn't happen so frequently but it was the fact that everytime it happens, the feelings that came rushing back at her, were always too much to take. Those feelings that she had felt for Lauren were still as strong as ever and when these feelings came, it almost always ends up making Bo question herself; if just maybe she hadn't held on tight enough to their relationship?

Or maybe she had held on too tight and Lauren had felt suffocated? Although all she was trying to do was take care of the blonde

Maybe it was her fault that she didn't try to pursue Lauren as persistently as possible when she had left?

There were always so many questions and they were always different each time. The only similar thing about these questions were the sense of guilt and longing and after she had gotten weary of thinking, there was still the pain. And this pain that she felt after going through all the notions and possibilities of what-ifs and what-could-have-beens', was not the corporeal type of pain that you could heal with medication yet it was so tangible that sometimes Bo felt as if, this indiscernible pain that she felt had in someway mutated and manifested itself into some physical aspect of her being torn off.

3 years had passed and the pain had gradually receded to a dull thrumming ache. But there were the days when the said ache would rear it's ugly head and become something else entirely, haunting her for days. And when those days occur, if Bo allowed herself, she could still feel Lauren in every nook and cranny. Sometimes she could even see her. The blonde was like her personal ghost. The mark of Lauren all over the crack shack was indelible, it feels like she could just walk round the corner of the stairs and see a visage of Lauren busying herself in the makeshift lab at the basement. There were the times as well, when Bo would wake up unexpectedly early and still blurry from sleep, wander down the stairs to see her love sitting at the center island with her back facing Bo, her reading glasses on and her nose in a book, nursing a cup of tea. These images were so vivid that it made Bo question her sanity more often than not and had cost her many a sleepless night.

She had told Kenzi about these visions and to say that her bestfriend was shocked that it was still happening, would be an understatement. The blue-eyed girl had been adamant about Bo getting some form of help. So to appease her friend, the brunette had done just that and had pretended to get better so Kenzi would stop worrying. Yet she knew deep down, that the only thing that she was getting better at wasn't the hallucinations and dealing with the aftermath of Lauren leaving, but it was hiding the fact that Lauren still affected her so much. And maybe, just maybe if she pretended long enough, hide behind her façade long enough, she would appear fine and eventually she would **_BE _**fine..

With a sigh, Bo set her wine glass down and stared at her glass of merlot before letting out a bitter choke of laughter. Usually she would have opted for a shot of vodka; straight up. But instead she had unconsciously poured herself a glass of wine, such a Lauren thing to do, having wine instead of vodka. Seems like there was no doubt that it is going to take more than pretense for her to accept that Lauren is gone and never coming back. or maybe deep down inside her, she knew that she didn't want to get over the blonde at all..

There was that saying, that if you wanted something bad enough, you would have done anything and everything in your means to get it, and if you think that you have tried your best at doing what it takes and still nothing is working out, then the thing that you thought you wanted, well you didn't want it bad enough after all. Somewhere along the way, Bo guessed that she had stopped trying so hard to get over Lauren. She did not know what she wanted anymore, much more what she's thinking..

Dumping the remaining contents and washing the wine glass before placing it back on the rack; where it belongs, Bo grabbed her luggage and without so much as a backward glance, she stepped over the threshold of the crack shack and left, knowing that it would have to suffice that she was still alive; breathing and moving, that she would just have to live with this dull ache and the ever present questions that came along with it..


	2. A Strange Day Indeed

**A/N: **_I'm so sorry that this update has taken so long. Truth be told, I'm not very sure where this story is heading. I mean i will definitely complete since i already have the end in mind but the in-betweens are the parts where I need filling in ;) very much like filling in the blanks. & what with life, everything tends to get really messy and thus i'm really sorry I can't promise a fixed update-of-story time BUT! I really do appreciate all the reviews & ideas & please do know if i didn't reply to a review; it's not because I did not take it into consideration or I have not read it :) just wanted you guys to know that. So, please R&R, it's true that it helps the writers to write faster._

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"I'm sorry! Please get out of the way!"

"I can't stop! Make it stop! I can't stop!.."

Looking around and seeing that she was the only few in the vicinity, Bo turned in the direction of the screaming and just as she was about to take a step away, a kid on a woobly two wheeled bike crashed into her and if she hadn't caught the kid in time, the boy who didn't look more than seven would have gotten a nasty bump and cut on his forehead. Instead it was Bo's backside that was going to bruise a nice dark purple later on.

Pushing herself up from the ground, Bo could feel the little boy wrapping his tiny arms tighter around her neck and instinctively she held on tighter to the little boy. Before she could ask the kid if he was all right, a woman's voice could be heard, shouting frantically to her right. "OLIVER! OLIVERRR! WHERE ARE YOU OLI!.." Spotting the two on the ground, the middle aged woman rushed over to them.

"Oliver! Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"He's fine, I caught him just in time.."

"Thank you so much mam, I'm so sorry for the trouble he's caused you" the woman gave an apologetic smile before replying with a heavy Mexican accent.

"Nono, not at all. He seems like a sweet kid." Having caught that, Oliver looked at Bo with adoring eyes and a wide toothy grin, seeming to pause a moment before uttering out loud

"I want to marry someone like you!"

Astonished by his comment, Bo was stumped while his nanny apologized profusely for his good natured but outrageous comment.

"Now Oliver, you can't say that to a stranger! Have you forgotten your manners!" the little boy just shrugged and smiled sheepishly.

"Well, we better get going now, Oli, if you want to be in time for lunch with your favourite aunt –" Oliver's nanny paused midway through her sentence as a flitting panicked look cross her face before mumbling "..I'm going to be in trouble.. trouble you know young man.. your mother is not going to be happy with what I let you do to your bicycle…"

Looking back at Bo, she gave a hurried smile and thank her once again for saving Oliver. With that, the Mexican lady tugged the little boy's arm as he turned, gave a little wave with a toothy grin and he pulled his wrecked bicycle along with him as they headed off in the opposite direction. The little kid was definitely endearing, even if mischievous, Bo thought to herself as she stood there watching both of them walked away. Unable to rein in her emotions, there was the ghost of a forlorn smile as she recalled that once upon a time ago, she had a conversation with a certain someone about kids and how she was opposed to the idea of getting a babysitter or a nanny. Even if they were too busy working, she was strongly against the idea of their kids growing up with little parental love. But that was time past and the notion of rehashing the past right now, was something that Bo would like to avoid doing; at least for today. With a shake of her head, she turns and strolled towards the exit of the park, a drag in the steps that she took.

* * *

The brunette had been giddy with excitement upon arrival after getting over her initial anxiety of having never been out of the country before. For the past few days, she had taken every opportunity she could to explore the places that she finally had the privilege to see. Today she had finally made her way to Grand Central Park with the late fall temperature being just right and a little breeze blowing through the city during the late morning. It was going to be a good start to a great day, or so she had thought. After the little bumped-in during her visit to the park, Bo could really use some platonic company and coffee. It had been her very first interaction with anyone in this state. Sure, she had seen heads turn in her direction whenever she was out and about, all too wary of the effect her beauty had on peoples' first impressions. Yet everytime she returned the glances or stares, every one of them had all too politely turn away. It seems as though the people of Manhattan could see that she was an outsider, that she was different from all of them who were New York's finest, born and bred. It reminded her of the times she had looked at herself in the mirror and yet could not recognize the reflection staring back at her.

When Bo had told her grandfather that she was going to be out of town; on a case, he was ecstatic for her and had hinted not so discreetly that he would be okay with the idea if Bo so choose to remain there for an indefinite period of time. She knew that Trick was a worrywart and had been even more so for the past few years; ever since Lauren had just up and left. Being as wise and resourceful as he was, her grandfather had been unable to help her find a better way, much less a way out of her misery. Infact, all the random romantic liasions or ménage à trois had done nothing to ease the pain other than serving as a reminder that she was missing the real deal, which was not something that she'd like to admit to herself much less saying it out loud to anyone else. It was not a wonder then, when Trick had sent her off that night, stuffing into her open palm a cheque, which had more digits than she had in her bank account. Bo had refused to accept any money from him but her grandfather had insisted that he wanted to make up for lost time, and reiterating the fact that as his granddaughter, he just wanted the best for her and the best would meant that she is comfortable and happy. To cover up for his sudden show of affection, Trick had gone on to point out that his other intention for giving her the funds was to aid him in scouting for good investment opportunities in New York. Further citing that he was sick of the scenery in Toronto and wanted to further expand his businesses. Well maybe Trick was right, maybe a change of scenery was what she needed, to first leave that all consuming sadness and then maybe in time she would learn to block things out and on an optimistic note; be happy. _Again_.

After walking aimlessly for nearly an hour, her feet aching like a bitch, she finally found the place where Kenzi had told her to meet at. Walking into _Le Gamin_ located on Vanderbilt Avenue, the brunette didn't realize how hungry she had gotten till she had open the door to the quaint little café and smells of the most delicious coffee and crepes wafted towards her. Not spotting the petite girl in question, Bo went ahead and placed her order before settling down at a corner window seat, waiting for her friend to show up. The café was cosy and exude an atmostphere very similar to that of the Dal, with its' gentle lighting and uncluttered decorations. Albeit the decorations and furniture used here had a more modernistic feel as far as Bo could recall about her grandfather's tavern.

Nearing mid-day, the cafe was a flurry of activity, college students rushing in for a quick coffee break, people dropping in for quick lunches. It seemed so surreal being the one who sat there looking at the lunch crowd come and go, rushing to their next appointment or going off somewhere; doing something. It's times like these that make loneliness seem even more unbearable than it already is. Her BFF was still no show and on much better days, it wouldn't have frustrate her but today is turning out to be one of those days where staying indoors might have been the best decision. Lost in her thoughts, Bo did not see the blonde who had been eyeing her ever since she walked in…

"Hey.." Startled, Bo jumped in her seat before turning to see the source of disruption. The stranger who was now standing the side of her table stared at her with a quzzical look. Realizing that she had been gaping at the stranger, the brunette blushed and cleared her throat

"I'm sorry, didn't mean to stare… is there anything I can help you with"

"No no, it's okay, I'm sorry if I startle you. Actually I was just wondering.. Do I – this might sound abit strange. But, have we met?…"

Giving the blonde a quick once over, Bo would surely have remembered the woman standing in front of her if she had ever met her. Her beauty was of the dangerous kind, the kind that holds a certain type of challenge and exotic allure. If Bo had to liken the blonde to anything, it would be a Venus trap; vibrant in color making them extremely attractive and even as you get closer, there is no real awareness to any impending danger.

"No, I'm not sure that we have ever met but if we did, I would definitely have remembered. You are hard to forget" Finishing her sentence with a smirk, even the brunette was surprised at her come-hither flirtation towards a stranger. That very nature of hers had't exactly surface ever since Lauren was gone. Not put off by the mounting attraction that seems to be present between the two, the blonde beauty had taken it as a sign of invitation to take a seat. Strangely enough there was a sense of familiarity and vague similarity that Bo could not place her finger on…

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Getting caught up in the conversation with the blonde whom Bo has come to know as Leanne, the both did not notice a strange lady with an uncomfortable expression worn on her face, starring at them, through her shades.


	3. You Wouldn't See It Coming

**A/N:** 1st off, I would really like to thank everyone for the comments and the questions but being the tease that I am (i do that to myself too, in my head so yes i mental torture myself, haha) i'm glad you guys asked the questions which definitely I would answer in the form of... UPDATES, which i would have to apologise once again for the tardiness of my updates but life happened and due to the things that you see around you everyday, my ideas kinda, always change as well. but i will find the best plot. so please! bear with me and here is the next chapter! OH! btw, there's no Lauren, yet in this chapter but ya know, I don't like Lauren being blind too so yeah ;) Well I will post as often as i can so in the meantime, Enjoy & RR! (it's because of the RR that i find motivation to write, HAHA). Oh & all mistakes are my own, i don't have a beta so sometimes i overlook. Thanks again.

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Disguisement was her forte; it was a skill that she had picked up while she was roaming the streets. Honestly Kenzi had to give herself a pat on the back for the fact that even Bo could not recognised her. Every time she had played dress-up (and eventually got her bestfriend to play along) it would be similar to a game of cat and mouse where she would go out and mingle at a location and get Bo to spot her. Always her impatient friend would be able to find her without so much as batting an eyelid. Yet today it seemed that Bo had totally missed her when she was sitting not so far from her afterall. Wanting to check if her disguise had been that awesome possum, the petite redhead (now) had waited for Bo to see through her disguise… but maybe waiting wasn't such a good idea since shortly after, she saw the blonde with the impeccable dressing approaching the table, her BoBo actually got her flirt on! Damn! Kenzi hadn't seen Bo doing her mojo since forever and that this stranger could actually manage something that she couldn't… Well this, she definitely got to see.

After nearly an hour or so, Leanne got up and left, leaving Bo back to her thoughts and her very cold untouched coffee. It's surprising as she thought of how for the past hour or so, it seemed so much easier to open up to a stranger, disregarding the budding attraction that had seem to be present. She knew that Kenzi, Trick and the rest of the family that she had found for herself when she had decided to stop town hopping, would always care for her. But sometimes the people who care for you the most are also the hardest to talk to. There was always something holding Bo back from opening up with them. It was stupid she knew since they did not expect anything out of her but yet she always felt this ever-present pressure that she couldn't described, that acted like a barrier between her and them. The only exception had been Lauren, who was the only one capable of bringing out the worst and best in her. Because of that, when Lo was gone, Bo knew deep down a part of her left with the doctor and after some time, she stopped trying to make sense of things, it was too difficult to cope. Metaphorically, she threw herself into this self-dug pit of desolation. As to why she had pulled her head out of her ass long enough with someone she just met, to be honest, she had no idea but Leanne seem to possess that sense of warmth and familiarity something that she could ever only relate to Lauren-induced feelings. Maybe that had made everything easier for her.

Turning her head just then, Bo caught a redhead staring in her direction and as she looked downwards, she immediately recognized the boots as Kenzi's. Chuckling to herself as Bo realized that that was her bestfriend in what she would consider as Kenzi's most inconspicuous get-up ever. She made a gesture of blowing a kiss across the table towards the redhead which resulted in a comical moment of her bestfriend getting up and attempting to do the catwalk over but eventually failing, seeing that she nearly trip over a stray pair of feet.

"Took you long enough BoBo. Thought you had forgotten all about poor moi, what with all the eye sex going on." Raising her hand Kenzi did a mock show of fanning herself causing the brunette opposite her to burst out laughing. "So you were here all along? How could I not have seen you hmm? Well you must have been secretly improving your skills of disguise and deception yes? Anyway why didn't you let me know you were here all along… hmm?" Placing both her palms on the tabletop, Bo was on the defensive. She leant in with an accusing look on her face wanting desperately to steer the topic of conversation to anything else other than the whole encounter with Leanne. But Kenzi being Kenzi was adamant in not letting it go.

"C'mon Bo, you and I both know what that was just now..? When was the last time you showed any interest in having tête-à-tête with anyone? " The petite girl paused for a moment before continuing "So who is she? You both seem pretty chummy from where I was seated" Heaving a sigh, the brunette thought of how she could put it across to her friend without any misinterpretation on Kenzi's part "She's no one – well, not no one but someone – I mean her name is Leanne and she came over and said hi and well you saw the rest didn't you?…"

"Yeah Bobolicious, I did and I saw the way you both were having flirting, I think you sh - "

"We weren't flirting! We were – erm, we were merely having a conversation. A very comfortable conversation. I just -" Not knowing how to explain the sense of closeness from that one encounter with Leanne, Bo gave a huff of indignation and turn her gaze towards the window.

* * *

_Le Garmin_ was empty except for another table where a couple was seated. Kenzi, unable to withstand the supposed tension between her and Bo, decided to just speak up instead of dwindling any longer.

"Hey Bobo, I'm sorry for prying too much. What I mean is that I want you to be happy and if you being happy means you opening up to someone else other than me.. it's okay, I mean I am okay with it.. I guess…"

Trying to muffle her laughter, "Is this what this is all about?" Bo gestured with her finger between the both of them. "You know Kenz, there is nothing to worry about. I can't have another bestfriend in my life because I already have one that I can't do without." The brunette looked at her bestie with a genuine smile on her face knowing that Kenzi would get that she meant every word that she said. Caught by surprise, Kenzi got up from the table and gave Bo the biggest hug she could manage with her tiny frame. "Oh you! I love you too. You are my bestest bestest friend in the world always!" Quirking an eyebrow and trying her best to muster a solemn expression, Bo replied "I'm glad you love me so much, which means you wouldn't mind me continuing with my moods hmm?" With that Kenzi couldn't help giving an eye roll Trust her BFF to ruin an emotional moment. With the emotions out of the way, it was time to get down to the reason the two friends had decided to meet there in the first place. Pushing a file across the table, Kenzi motion for her to take a look at it's contents. Flipping thru the file, there was little to be known about their current client. On the surface, it seems like a missing person's case but things aren't always that simple especially when the payout is high.

"Kenz… this is all there is?" Acknowledging Bo's frustration at the lack of information, Kenzi merely nodded. "I'm sorry, this was all I could dig up, including what we were given by our client, who only wants to be known as Mr Beattie…" With a hint of sarcasm and a sudden burst of energy, Kenzi waved her hands in the air as she continued, "He is a total bawbag! When I paid him a house visit to get more information, he told me, pointing in my face! With his stubby finger that he was a very private man and does not appreciate being asked any questions that we should just do the job that he is paying us to do! I mean how do you suppose we do anything if he refuses to divulge any other information, well besides the fact that he wants us to find his missing son? Who goes by oh-gosh-i-don't-know-his-name…!" Realising how annoyed this certain Mr Beattie's attitude had infuriated her bestfriend, Bo can't help laughing at the tantrum that Kenzi is throwing right now, earning her a distasteful glare from across the table. "Not funny Bobo… you should have seen him, acting all high and mighty"

"Well he certainly has the means to be all I'm-too-great-to-be-in-your-presense. Here, look at this.." Leafing through the file, Bo pulled out a faded newspaper article that seems to have gone through many a pair of hands, with it's edges tattered and flimsy. "It says here that Mr William Beattie is a property magnate and apparently this guy really comes from old money, there's a mention of a daughter but the photo here only shows Mr and Mrs Beattie."

"Kenz, am I getting old or did I not see any mention that Mr and Mrs Beattie actually have a son?" Disregarding the opening to teasing Bo about her age, Kenzi shrugged her shoulders and with a matching quizzical look, continue to thumb through the remaining papers in the file. It was all quite puzzling, how do you find someone who either does not want to be found or seemingly does not exist?…

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Dinnertime soon rolled by, both ladies were now too tired to go through any further research on their client for the rest of the day, seeing that they had spend the later half of their afternoon trying to dig up any form of news on the Beattie family. But alas, even with Kenzi's awesome DIY hacking skills, much about this particular family remains elusive. You would think that with the Internet, information would be readily available. But it seems as if whatever records or history or any form of personal relations with any members of the Beattie family members were wiped clean. Most of what Kenzi could find was information mainly about Mr Beattie's business and philanthropic dealings. Having only seen his pictures, Bo did not want to assume that he was the obnoxious type of man that her bestfriend pointed him out to be. Maybe it was time to pay him a visit before deciding their next course of action. After all they have already agreed to take up the job and declining after acceptance was really bad for business.

Suddenly tugging the (now) dark-haired girl, Bo dragged a half coherent BFF of hers out of the café, determined to pay a second housevisit to Mr Beattie and get some answers.

"Bo. Bo- BO!" Kenzi had to raise her voice to get the brunette's attention. Stopping mid-stride, Bo turned, her face scrunched up in concentration.

"Bo, hun, where are you dragging my little ass to?"

"Huh? Oh… The Beattie's home of course"

"Erm Bo, William Beattie is not in the country today and he won't be back till next week."

"Oh… okay. Erm then, let's get back to the hotel, I'm beat."

Seeing the crestfallen expression on her bestfriend's face, Kenzi looped her arm around the other girl as they turn in the other direction, heading towards their hotel, Kenzi had assumed that her Bobo had been disappointed with the sudden "cut" in her action plan and the lack of adrenalin rush. But what the blue eyed girl didn't see was a very unmistakable backview of a blonde in the corner booth of the café which Bo had happened to chance upon before she had ushered Kenzi out of the place…


End file.
